Since Maddelyn had her first birthday, I’ve heard several times from several different people
“How do you do it with her??”
or “She is… wow….”
or my not-so-favorite favorite
“She’s seriously a lot to handle!“
But it has happened on several occasions, nonetheless.
As her mother, I want to tell those people to…
When I was a little girl, somewhere under the age of eight, I had a paralyzing fear of fire—- particularly, of our house catching fire in the night and me being trapped inside. My bedroom was upstairs, and in the mind of a child, the stairs can easily morph
Did you get the chance to get to a movie theater and participate in Kirk Cameron’s ‘Revive Us?’
If you did, was it not amazingly inspiring and refreshing?
Kirk Cameron called a ‘National Family Meeting’ for everyone concerned about the future of our country in its current situation, specifically Christians. He flew in Dr. Ben Carson
We’ve all heard it before. “Things change.” Yeah, yeah… Two words so easy to brush off. Until they aren’t. Until they become your reality. It’s easy to logically acknowledge the words in your brain, but dealing with the day-to-day emotions of it as reality is the kicker.
What I want to know is WHY no one makes it a more prominent piece of advice? I mean, why is no one yelling this information at us before we get married? Before we go through deployments? Before we have children? I feel like this should’ve been a major theme in school my entire life. We spend all of our time working out chemical equations and trig problems, and none of our time preparing for the evolving of the people we love, and how to actually deal with it as a naturally and continuously occurring phenomenon.
I never expected to fall in love with someone in the service. Never. In fact, I joined the military to focus on myself. But it happened. And if you knew my husband—really knew him—you’d understand within seconds. There was a time I was apprehensive, though. I remember after Jesse and I got engaged, I called up my Grandfather (whom I always went to for advice), told him Jesse and I had decided to get married, and asked him what he thought about it. My Grandpa had met Jesse once, but had been in Sales for 50 years, so he was someone who had seen and been around many, many people all his life. I told him I was nervous about what life would look like with a military man, especially since I was in, too, and I told him that I knew it was going to be difficult. But I’ll never forget the first words out of his mouth: “Courtney, do it.” “Do it,” he said. “I saw how much he loves you. It will be a challenging life, but it will be a secure life. Besides, since when do you shy away from challenges?” My Grandpa and I talked for 15 more minutes, and it was pretty much about how much he admired my now-husband. He had only met him one time.
Now seven deployments, six duty stations, and two children later, I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. Loving my man in uniform moved my life in a completely different direction, and has given me skills, adventures, and a kind of love I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.
So here’s the good, the bad, and the not-so-funny of what loving someone in uniform will give you:
It really just sucks. It sucks so much. This is such bull crap. And it’s borderline nuts. This is so stupid. I hate being alone! I hate this! I can’t do this. I hate that he left. Why did he have to go? The military is stupid. I hate the military for taking him away from me like this. Why does he have to be gone for so long?! I’m not the one who signed up for this! How am I going to get through this?! I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel abandoned. My heart’s never hurt like this before… I hate this. How am I going to do this?!
I can’t be the only one who has thought these things… Numerous times.
Your man in uniform was just home, and you could kiss him and hug him and you were watching movies together and making dinner and laughing. And now he isn’t. He’s gone. He’s far away. And you can’t see him. You can’t talk to him. Playing his voicemails over and over only goes so far. And it just hurts so incredibly bad. Do you want to know why? Besides the fact that you love him, do you want to know why? Here’s why:
Because it’s like a break-up without the breaking-up. It’s like a death without the dying.
Nobody prepares you for just how difficult it gets– The waiting. The wondering what they’re doing. The wondering if they’re okay. The wondering when you’ll hear from them again. The being ready to move at the drop of a hat (if I have to pack one more moving box…..). The having to be okay, and the having to be okay alone. The sleeping alone. The YouTubing how to fix a broken hose on a washing machine at 2 AM because someone’s gotta do it, and well, you’re it! The missing your family more than you ever thought possible. The parenting by yourself. The always having to make new connections, new friends… and.. and.. and…. Boy, do I know.
But hey, it’s nothing a little cookie dough can’t fix!
Just kidding… kind of, not really… *eats spoonful of cookie dough*